Background

I am so thankful for the daughter God gave to me. Right now she is the person I am running to the most, she is my safe place to fall. She lets me know that it is o.k. to be scared. She is scared also. this waiting around for doctor's appointments is so draining.

I have already had the mammograms where the mass was found. Then on to the ultra sound, where mass was confirmed. Films were read and the hammer came down. It was very plain to see that it was cancer, how much and how far wasn't for sure but there was no mistake it was cancer. No amount of wishing it were not true was going to help. It had happened to me. It was like sitting in front of a jury and found guilty of something you didn't do, then the thought runs through my head "Why me Lord" then I hear the voice of my beloved son say many times during his battle "why not me" this isn't something you would wish on anyone esle. But I am so stunned and it is so hard to breathe. So many thoughts run through my head. But you don't have time right now to think they are handing you papers to sign to allow them to do a needle core biopsy. And all the time you are laying there you are praying "Please don't let it be true"

We got the Pathology report.

Final Pathologic Diagnosis :
Infiltrating ductal carcinoma
left axillary lymph node
lymph nodes with extensive involvement by metastatic carcinoma

Next step different doctors. Thank goodness Nicole will be here. Her and I will work together. I am so blessed to have such a strong and knowledgeable daughter.
Henry I miss your love and support. I miss you rubbing my arm and telling me everything will be alright. You were always the beam that held me up and got me through. I know you are watching over me and Dale is with you. But oh how I wish I could just hear you tell me one more time that everything will be o.k.

God I thank you for the many people who are saying prayers for me and I thank you for being with me on this road I have to take. I feel your love all around me. Give me the strength to indure what ever comes my way. Thank you for putting your people in my path to help me along my way.

Tomorrow the breast doctor. My girls will be here in a few hours and the battle will be on to beat this horrible thing called cancer.

Thank you everyone for your love and support. The small acts of kindness means so very much................I didn't know that so many people cared. I am so blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just don't know what it means to me.

Thanks B.J.................for the day you gave to me yesterday.
Thanks everyone for all that you do. I love you all.
I will try and post the results from the visit tomorrow I know many of you are waiting.