The Brain Scan

Well folks it is official I still have a brain. Yep I went yesterday morning to see if the cancer had gone to my brain don't know the total results yet but I know that it is good. My little tech gave me a high sign and I felt good with that. And "Matt the Man" hit my vein on the first try so I knew it had to be good. I have these horrible rolling and collapable veins that just won't hold an IV, and it is a real bear to have one put in so when we find that one person who can hit it right off we keep calling him back in. So a big shout out to Matt, thanks bud. The dye was injected and I got that burning sensation through out the body, the bad taste in the mouth and the feeling that you are going to wet your pants, but hey it is all worth it when it comes down to the finale results. In the last 2 weeks I have had every organ in this body checked. St. Lukes Hopital leaves nothing to chance that is why I like them so well. They have rushed through all the testing and the results and have been on top of this from day one. What a great group they are.
In afternoon it was on to see my heart doctor, not so good news there. It seems that they are going to take the defibulator and pace maker out so I can have all the treatment that will need to be done. They will monitor the heart very closely and we will pray that my heart doesn't fail until all treatments have been done. They will continue to treat my heart with drugs but I won't have the devices in the way when it comes to radation and breast removal. So I would like to ask for extra prayers in that department. I tuly have faith in my doctors and God. I am scared and know that I need someone powerful to watch over me. I have a good support group in my friends and family and support from people that don't even know me, every word of praise helps me to go forward, every word of encourgement means so very much to me. I know the hardest part is yet to come and I am trying to prepare my self for it. I wonder where I will be this time next year? Will my mind and body withstand it all. I know I am stong and I am a fighter in my mind, not sure about the body. Will I be at the top of my mountain or will I be at the end of the journey? I worry also about the stress this is going to put on my family, I don't want to bring heartache and strain to them. I don't want to see anyone suffer from what I have to go through and I know my girls they are already suffering, so that means I have to be even stronger. I MUST stay postive I must fight with every breath I take, I am worried, oh so worried. But I must fight this battle that has been set before me. It is so all consumming. I must "Fight Like a Girl" I keep telling myself that hundreds of women have fought this and they have won, I want to be in the winners circle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday I go for another biospy and start the drugs, in 2 or 3 weeks we will be able to tell if the drug is working and shrinking the tumor, PLEASE pray that it will work.
Thank you one and all for your words of wisdom, your phone calls, your love and the laughter you bring to me. Don't ever feel that you are bothering me for I love each and everyone of you and everything means more to me then ever before.
Stay tuned for more up dates.............................loving you all Bobbi